|Check me out, livin the life – pre-babies|
They call me Keyla (short for Tequilla), and I’m a Dalmatian (duh, obviously). I know I’m cute, but after 9 years with my parents, looks don’t seem to matter anymore. The honeymoon’s over for this dog. I’m no longer the baby, and I frickin’ hate it.
I used to live a charmed life. Doggy treats, extended walks, human-bed cuddles. The whole sha-bang. Hungry for a treat? All I’d have to do was batt my eyes, wag my tail, maybe throw in a little “sit”, and BOOM. Treat in my mouth. I didn’t care about strange noises or stranger danger. Why would I? I wasn’t a guard dog, I was a freakin’ pet. I was livin’ the life, my friends. Little did I know, it would all come to a screaching halt.
My mom started to get really fat. I didn’t know what was going on, and I wasn’t going to judge, cause hey, I didn’t want to sound like an ungrateful bitch. She just got fatter and fatter, until one day she came home with this freaky looking mini-human. Suddenly it was “shhhh no bark!” and “you take her for a walk, I’m nursing the baby”. WTF. Who was this mini-person taking over my family?
The thing got bigger, and I have to admit, she kinda grew on me. Lots of snuggles and kisses, and she seemed to like me despite my resentment. OK I thought, I can share my parents with her. For now.
Then my mommy got fat again. This time I was no dummy, I knew what was coming. BOOM. 9 months later, yep, another mini-human freak baby. In. My. House. Another one? I knew I was going to be chopped liver. Third on the list.
The boy’s starting to grow on me too, and I have to admit, I get a tinge of satisfaction when he grabs my ear and gets reprimanded by the parental unit. Better him than me right?
I’m adjusting, taking it day by day. I know they still love me but things will never be like they were in the beginning. I still live a happy life, but I have to work for the attention I used to have all to myself. It’s a dog’s life.
And those kids? I love them, but how would you feel if people dressed their kids up like you for Halloween?