Getting Through Pregnancy After Miscarriage

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was mesmerized by the beauty and transformation of my growing belly. I followed my baby’s development each week through websites, images and email updates. I read books, asked for advice from friends, decorated the baby’s room well in advance, and came up with a name for my new little baby girl – well before she was due to arrive.

With my second pregnancy, I was a little less enthused by the process itself, but equally as excited about the child who would soon add to our little family. I was thrilled when told that I was to have a baby boy, and again, excitedly decorated the baby’s room, came up with a name, and bought accessories well before he was due to arrive.

My third pregnancy, well that one that changed things for me. My late-term pregnancy loss opened my eyes to what I had naïvely believed to be impossible: that things can go wrong – regardless of how well you take care of yourself, how well you follow the “rules”, and how spotless your health record may be.

When I found out I was pregnant for the fourth time, my excitement was shaded by a tinge of anxiety. Would this one make it? Was I ready to risk going through the same process again if it didn’t work out? While I tried to let my optimism overshadow my fears, it was simply impossible to push those fears aside.

Here are 3 things that have helped me through the process so far – hopefully these tips will help others who are struggling with the same fears:

1) More doctor’s visits. My doctor has been very understanding throughout this pregnancy. She has allowed me to visit more regularly, sending me for ultrasounds and checking the baby’s heart rate with a Doppler to reassure me that this one is nice and healthy. My doctor has also shared stats with me on the likelihood of a miscarriage happening again based on my history. She has ensured that I have taken all tests and precautions to ensure the healthy growth and development of my baby, and has offered her support whenever needed.

2) A Doppler. While I thought that I would feel more secure about this pregnancy after surpassing the 12 week mark, I was still hesitant, nervous and cautious. Borrowing a friend’s Doppler to check my baby’s heart rate has been a fantastic way to reassure myself when my worries and concerns get the best of me. It has also helped me to feel more connected with my new little girl.

3) Time. The waiting game is the hardest part, but as I move through the weeks, I feel more and more comfortable with accepting that this baby will remain healthy throughout my pregnancy. As my belly grows and I start to feel swooshes and flutters from within, my anxieties fade and my true excitement about adding to my family is coming to the forefront.

While I still have my moments of doubt, I’ve found that celebrating this pregnancy, sharing my news with friends and family, and keeping myself focused on those things in life that matter most, have helped me to overcome my fears and return to my optimistic self. Bring on the diapers and breastfeeding and onesies, cause this mama’s ready for her happy ending!