Dear Sir/Madam,
Although you may find that my resume is laden with professional experience in the fields of marketing and sports sponsorship, I am optimistic that you will consider me for this important role once you review my expansive skill set. I have spent over 4 years working as an undercover (although somewhat unofficial) “bad cop” and therefore feel as though I would be a great fit for your squad.
In reviewing your posting, I see that you are looking for someone who has the ability to enforce the law. I spend many hours of my day ensuring that the people in my care maintain their status as law-abiding citizens. With the assistance of my partner (“good cop”), I have successfully taken control of hostile situations, ensuring that the acts of crime have been terminated by the guilty parties. Crime prevention has been a big part of my undercover role.
I have experience in surveillance, as I have developed (over time) the unique feature of having eyes on the back of my head. I am able to see all disobedient actions, and to react promptly using effective enforcement tactics.
I have the physical strength required for this role, which I have developed through my experience wrangling small people with bull-like might into tight-fitting clothing. I frequently chase little ones for long distances, and I always win. I am also able to carry 40lbs with ease while performing several important tasks simultaneously.
I have extensive experience in investigation and interrogation. I am able to resolve any mystery through proper questioning and research techniques. I am able to question a perpetrator in such a way that the truth is revealed each and every time.
I would be the ideal “bad cop” because I enforce rules regularly and consistently. I use a firm tone to emphasize my message, and I correct inappropriate behaviours until they are suitable. I work well with my partner, and am able to provide a balanced chain of command to those I lead. I serve and I protect, and I am committed to this role wholeheartedly.
Most Sincerely,
Bits of Bee
18 Comments
*ROTFL* Hired. ((Tweet Tweet!))…
Parenthood really is the ultimate preparation for, well, you know, um, EVERYTHING!
And while we’re at it, can you come to my house and establish some ORDER?! 😉
LMAO! Love this! So true that we moms plays the bad cop all the time isn’t? Well my son have his own personal lawyer…grandma!
LOL:) This is too funny! hi hi I’m glad I found your blog and I am now following you thanks to Friendly Friday, and it would be so nice if you could share the love back on my blog;)
Also today we have the coolest blog hop there is… no rules just fun and would love you to join in with us at Boost My Blog Friday, where you can meet lots of friends and have a great time:) See you there!
Happy Friday!
Hahahaha!!! I love this equating of motherhood to police work – it’s actually all so true!
Stopping by from the Friday Hops to say hello and follow. Have a great Friday!
POSH
http://poshonabudget.com/2011/09/welcome-to-friday-friend-connect.html
Hi, new follower here from Boost my Blog Friday Hop, http://truebluefansofthevampirediaires.blogspot.com/
Hope you will stop by and follow me back, thanks.
Great blog and awesomely funny post.
Hello! I’m one of your newest followers from the Friday Blog Hop! I would love if you could return the follow! Thank you so much!
http://www.mrsgoldilocks.blogspot.com/
I love your site! You just got yourself a new fan. Following you via GFC. Playing Blog hop tag, YOU’RE IT! Tag me back at:
http://my-bloggityblog.blogspot.com/ and on facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bloggity-Blog/26056409064411
Oh so funny!! Well, they could hire me as well then. My kids think I can see through walls 😉
LOL, that was so funny! You definitely have what it takes. Totally understand the hostile situations, we have many of those at our house every day. 🙂
Following from the blog hop, and would love a comment here and a follow!
http://www.babesandkidsreview.com/2011/09/nature-made-vitamins-a-better-me/
BAHAHAHA this is so accurate. We should get issued tasers.
Okay, maybe not.
This is so stinkin’ FUNNY! I laughed so hard!
I’m with Dana… they should issue us tasers… ok, maybe just a slight stun gun. The “Mom voice” is pretty stunning…
Thanks for linking up for #SundayFunday!
Wow, sounds like I would too! We could have our own MOM task force!! 😉 This is great! Thanks for linking up!
Funny! Oh, I never thought of myself in Law Enforcement, but suddenly I can see it!
Visiting from Miss-Elaine-ous Monday.
Hi! I’m blog hopping today and I am following your blog. Please stop by and say hi. I hope you are having a Sweet Week.
April
A Mommy’s Blog Design Studio
Blog Hops Everyday
The Blogger’s Guide to Online Marketing
This is great. I love the title.
Hilarious!! I think I could give you so e stiff competiton for the job. Ha!!
SO true, B. I’d hire you!