Mommy Group

We were floating around in a pool – a sea of nervous pregosaurus’ when we first met. I had joined the prenatal aqua class to meet new moms-to-be, and as an excuse to have regular visits with a friend who had coaxed me to join.

I remember one-by-one each classmate stopped showing up. Emails circulated with beautiful photos of the new lives they had brought into the world. A constant flow of congratulations, announcements, and birth stories flooded my inbox. Then one day I showed up for class, only to discover that I was the last one left from the original group. Ten days past my due date, I welcomed my baby girl into the world, and my story was added to the inboxes of the friends I had made in class.

The first few days as a new mommy were rewarding, but also a challenge. I didn’t really know what I was doing, and I was the first of my close group of friends to become a mama. When I saw an invite in my inbox from one of my aqua friends, inviting me to join in on a visit at their place, I was ecstatic, but also a bit nervous. I had only known these ladies for a short time. Would they judge me if my baby spit up all over their carpet? Would I have to leave the room to nurse my newborn, or cover up awkwardly while they looked on with judging eyes?I arrived at my friend’s house to discover a warm and welcoming group of ladies, and I knew I was in the right place. Surrounded by newborn baby coos and tired new-mommy eyes, I settled in and so our mommy group was born.

At first we took turns rotating between houses each Wednesday. We shared snacks, nursed babies, traded tips and vented about the challenges we had discovered in the week that had previously passed. I don’t know how I would have survived those first months without the comfort I had found in discovering that I was not alone on certain concerns, challenges and issues I was facing. They knew where I was coming from, and didn’t judge me, but instead supported me when I expressed what I was feeling.

One day, about 10 months into our weekly gatherings, we realized that while we had shared many hours together, we hadn’t learned much about each other as people. We had spent our time talking about our babies and our marriages, but we didn’t know much about each other’s backgrounds and personal interests. A girl’s night out was planned, and our group was transformed from a mommy group, to a group of lifelong friends.

5 years later and we still meet regularly. We’ve been through heartaches, disappointments, miracles, adventures, and celebrations. Some have moved on, and others have moved away, but a core group of us are still going strong. We had started as a group of anxious mothers-to-be, and are now forever bonded through our shared experiences.

Each of us are so different as people, but our shared experiences have united us through an unbreakable and everlasting bond. I don’t know how I would have survived these last 5 years without my mommy group, and I hope that every mother is blessed with a support system of friends like the one I have been so lucky to have.

“Family is a group experience of love and support”
– Marianne Williamson

Comments

  1. I agree. A good mommy group is a life-saver in those early days!

  2. You are so lucky to have had the support of a Mommy group. I would have died to have had that with either of my babies. What a wonderful photo comparison of them before and them now. SOOO cute!

  3. Theresa says:

    Extremely lucky group of ladies! I suffered through postpartum without anyone to talk to who understood. Good for you all for keeping up!! 🙂

  4. In the UK, there is the National Childbirth Trust, they offer antenatal (prenatal) classes by neighbourhood, and then you do a postnatal coffee group with the same women, hosted by another mum whose child is a bit older. After about six weeks your group moves out on their own and makes the rounds of everyone’s houses. It was such a life saver to have my group – all our children were born within 4 weeks of each other and we stayed very close, even having a eight-way split birthday party! It was so very hard to leave all those mum friends behind when we moved back to Vancouver.

  5. What a great post. You are lucky to have such a solid group. We tried the MG but had no luck because we ended up with a group of ladies with NO sense of humor. But the girls who had a sense of humor decided to make up their own group and now we hang out all the time!

  6. This is awesome! Finding friends is tough. Finding time to spend with them is even tougher.

  7. I had a mommy/playgroup when my two older boys were babies. But since then, everyone’s off to school and the kids rarely get together anymore. The mommy’s however try to get a GNO in a few times a year. I miss that time with my friends though, and miss seeing the kids play together.

  8. That is really awesome. I have 2 other women who became my best friends when we relocated. Our kids have known each other since they were 3. We’ve seen each of us have second (and third) babies. I truly love them.

  9. I have a super cute photo I should post of our Mommy group (Lilah and Theo were in the same group). All the kids are clothed but it’s pretty adorable. Loved our group 😉

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