Legacy of an Adopted Child

Legacy of an adopted child

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.

Two different lives shaped to make yours one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first gave you life, the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for Love, the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you the seed for talent, the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first smile, the other dried your tears.

One gave you up, it was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child and was led straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears
the age old question through the years,

“Heredity or environment, which am I the product of?”
Neither my darling, neither,
Just two different kinds of Love.

Author Unknown

I came across this poem the other day and I fell in love with it immediately. It speaks so well to me as an adoptee, and I’m sure to anyone who comes from a unique family dynamic such as my own.

Growing up as an adoptee, and especially during my university days when I was constantly faced with the nature vs nurture theories, I was left to question which was more impactful on my life. Because I had only known a life impacted by the surrounding environment, I thought I had all the answers. Nurture won.

Now that I have reunited with my biological father, I realize that who we are cannot be defined by only one or the other, but that it is the combination of both your genes and the environment in which you were raised that makes you who you are.

I feel so blessed to have had the upbringing that I have, and to now know more about my history and where I’ve come from. A perfect balance – two different kinds of love.

Legacy of an Adopted Child


  1. That is a truly beautiful poem. I myself don’t know who my “real” father is but grew up under my step dad’s tutelage. It is a very interesting discussion to have – nature vs nurture – and I’ve found myself thinking about it many times.

  2. beautiful poem that shows the tough and heartbreaking love that gave up a child, and the selfless, hopeful one that welcomed one. My father has been absent pretty much my entire life, but my mom was an amazing single mom. Still, it’s absolutely amazing to her how much of my dad is in me — but mostly the good stuff (she stamped out the bad..single moms are tough too!! ha).
    But yes, it’s hard sometimes not knowing the other half of where I come from. The one I do know….pretty awesome and I am forever grateful.

  3. Always loved that poem. Such a wonderful honoring of both mothers and, of course, their child.

  4. What a beautiful poem, Bianca. I feel the same as you do. Environment and genetics, hand in hand, make us who we are. The poem says it so perfectly.

  5. That is a beautiful poem!

  6. That’s a lovely poem. How lucky that you have been reunited with your bio father. I didn’t find out about him till after his death. (Wasn’t a very nice person apparently) Nice to find another Vancouver blogger. Now to go read more of your posts. I’m at http://veronicaroth.com

  7. Anonymous says:

    I am a single Mom who adopted my beautiful baby girl from Ethiopia. In her room, I have a wooden Ethiopian cross and on either side of it a picture frame, one has a picture of her birth mom and the other this poem…which I absolutely love, it speaks to my heart and I hope one day to hers. —
    Kim (just so you know I commented on a blog post, re: photo contest 🙂 )

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